Tee Times Like Toilet Paper

Four weeks ago I lovingly looked at Kelsey as we drove home after shopping for fridges, “At least we have each other,” I told her. Kelsey turned her head and glared, “I don’t want you. “I just want a fridge”. For the last 6 weeks we lived without our kitchen fridge. Too expensive to fix, we bought a used fridge on Craigslist. It broke two days later. Finally we bit the bullet and bought a new fridge, only to realize it would take one month to arrive due to COVID manufacturing delays. What happened to the good ol’ days when you could buy a fridge in a store; the days when tee times were less like toilet paper?

Trump has Covid

Great. Now I am bombarded in the media about two of my least favorite things to read about: Trump and Covid. My Apple stock was going up all last week until Trump got Covid; then it took a magical dive. (Pardon my use of the semicolon above. Not sure if it’s appropriate, but it felt right). This week he is COVID free and my Apple stock jumped up again. Why is Apple’s Net worth linked to Trump having Covid? I will never know. I don’t really care, I just wish the tee times were less like toilet paper.

Joe, Thanks for reading GolferMD.com

I Should Be Dead

I’m surprised I survived this summer.  I have people coughing by me constantly.  By all media accounts I should be dead. Yet, I don’t worry about dying from COVID.  I worry about dying of dehydration.  My local golf courses are not allowed to have water coolers.  Someone decided it’s too dangerous to have people getting water from the same cooler.  They don’t care if we die from dehydration, as long as we don’t touch the same cooler. You know what, keep your water. Just give me my tee times back.

A COVID Eagle

I want to know the name of the person who came up with the idea of putting pool noodles inside golf holes to prevent us from getting coronavirus.  Perhaps the single worst thing to come from the pandemic is the idea of not letting someone stick their hand 2” further down a golf hole to pull out their ball.  Now instead of just touching our ball we are all handling a foam noodle.  Seems brilliant.

Last month I had 80 yards into the hole.  I hit a perfect shot that went right at the flag.  My ball hit the edge of the hole then a small cup protector that my course has replaced the foam noodles with and bounced 40 feet in the opposite direction.  An eagle from the fairway turned into a shaky par.  Thanks COVID (sarcasm added)! Give me my golf holes back (and my tee times).

Too High Risk

I signed up to play in the Washington State Golf Amateur tournament two months ago. After arriving to the course they asked if I had any COVID symptoms.

“Fever, cough, diarrhea, loss of sense of taste, headaches, congestion, etc?”

“No, no, no, no, no.”

“Have you been around anyone with Coronavirus?”

“Yes, I’m an ER doctor. I take care of COVID patients all day”

”Sorry, you can’t play today. You’re too high risk”

“So I am too high risk to play golf, without any symptoms, while I’m outside, 60 feet away from anyone else? But, when you come to the emergency department later this evening it will be ok if I take care of you in a cramped room with poor ventilation, in a room that was just occupied by someone with a fever and cough?”

“Yes”

”Ok, thanks for clarifying”

Tee Times Like Toilet Paper

I was golfing at Bandon Dunes when I got a call from my wife last fall.  Our kids school had been canceled for the rest of the year.  “At least I have golf” I told myself.  Two days later my home course shut down. For 6 weeks I had no golf.  Since the golf world opened back up tee times have been like toilet paper on a Costco shelf.  They appear and vanish in an instant.

Every morning at 7:30am the tee sheet opens up at my local course for 3 days down the road.  Within 30 seconds the tee times fill up. I tried to go out last night. Tee times booked solid until 5:30pm.

What about golf has become so popular?  If people didn’t like golf before, why are they magically drawn to the game now?  Go back to fishing. 

Life with a Fridge

We got our new fridge this week. Kelsey loves me again. I’m glad some order is being restored to our home. I just wish the tee times were less like toilet paper.

About Me

I am a husband, father, ER doctor, and an avid golfer.  With a handicap of 2.0 I have a fairly legitimate claim to be among the Top 100 Physician Golfers in the United States.  You can read more about my story on my about page. Feel free to contact me or follow my sites on social media.