They Call Me Minnesota

I was a fat kid. All of my brothers have gone through a fat stage, some multiple. Levi never got made fun of because he was the oldest. By the time Bob and Brad came around all of the fat jokes were used up on me.  Of the many memories I have of childhood one thing I remember distinctly is why They Call Me Minnesota.

Big Boned

My Grandpa Barber used to say I was just “Big Boned.” That made me feel good. I literally thought that I had been blessed with big bones. I used to wonder why I broke my wrist so many times growing up if my bones were bigger then everyone else’s.

Once I visited a car dealership with my dad.  I must have been 12 or so.  The salesman looked at me and said, “Wow.  You’re big boned.  You must play football.”  I appreciated that he recognized my strength and physical prowess.  I told him that I liked to golf.

There have been lots of big boned golfers.  Hefty (Phil Mickelson), Wild Thing (John Daily), The Walrus (Craig Stadler), and Beef (Andrew Johnston) just to name a few.  I salute you.

Why They Call Me Minnesota

My grandpa Fielding had a snooker table at his house. He had an instructional book titled “Minnesota Fats on Pool” by Rudolph Wanderone, a famous pool player in the 1960’s. A movie came out at the same time called “The Hustler” with a character called Minnesota Fats. Rudolph thought it must have been about him so he called himself Minneosta Fats from then on.

Levi saw Grandpa‘s copy of the book. One day while shooting pool I was winning and Levi was upset. He started calling me Minnesota Fats. Dad thought that was rude of Levi and shortened it to “Minnesota.” I cried. Everyone else laughed. The name stuck.

A Love Affair…With Food

Being Minnesota wasn’t all too bad. Much of my development in life I owe to my fat years. Skinny people lack the personality molding that fat people have to go through. 

As a kid I ate what I wanted and didn’t care.  Twinkies were one of my vices.  I also enjoyed a good Reese’s, Snickers Bar, Ho Ho, or a Ding Dong.  Snoballs weren’t my thing.

My Aunt Kathy always hooked me up with a pantry full of goodies.  I would go in and grab a Twinkie and Reese’s and then go jump in their pool. Thanks Aunt Kathy!

When I was about 12 I went to McDonald’s.  Mom was driving and Staci was in the backseat.  As we pulled up at the drive through Mom asked what I wanted.  I asked for a Big Mac meal…Super Sized.  Plus, I wanted a Quarter Pounder with cheese.  Staci kindly commented from the backseat, “David, that is how you get fat.”  Mom thought that was insensitive and ordered my meal. I have always appreciated Mom for that.  

Nobody in my family actually calls me Minnesota anymore. They probably don’t remember any of these stories. It was a fulfilling time of life in many ways. I loved being Minnesota.

The Belly Rub

Kelsey always knows when I have a rough eating day or if I’m nervous about my weight. I developed a habit of rubbing my belly as a kid to check to see if I was getting fatter. Now I do it mostly as a preventative measure to remind me of my Minnesota days. Before I go into the pantry I will rub my belly. Ironically If I flunk the belly rub test I will often go the pantry anyhow. If I am feeling skinny I muster the control to skip my snack. Is the belly rub helpful? Probably opposite of how it should work. It is just what I do.

I just ate a big Easter dinner. I rubbed my belly. Feeling Fat. Time for dessert. Actually I ate 3 deserts: A cupcake filled with raspberry filling, a slice of carrot cake my mom made, and a fruit Tart that Kelsey made. Maybe tomorrow I’ll do better.

They Call Me Minnesota Cookbook

Over the years there have been a handful of foods that I’ve loved and seemed to go back to. Four years ago I decided to make a cookbook of my favorites. It was fittingly titled “They Call Me Minnesota”.

Someone who likes my post may end up with a copy in their mailbox.

The Minnesota Club

Most of you have likely been a “Minnesota” at some point in life. Welcome to the club. I am the founder. Kelsey gave me this hat for my birthday. A great gift. I once made shirts with an “They Call me Minnesota” logo. I’m thinking of making some more.

I think Kelsey would like to join the club some day. I don’t think she meets the qualifications. Pregnancy doesn’t count.

TheyCallMeMinnesota.com

There may be some budding entrepreneurs who would like to steal the domain name TheyCallMeMinnesota.com. Don’t worry. I already own it. There is nothing on the website yet. There may be someday.

I sometimes long for the days of unchecked eating. For now the memories of Minnesota remain.

About the Author

I am a husband, father, ER doctor, and an avid golfer.  With a handicap of 2.8 I have a fairly legitimate claim to be among the Top 100 Physician Golfers in the United States.  You can read more about my story on my about page. Feel free to contact me or follow my sites on social media