A New Beginning, A New Job, A New Paradym

60 minutes had passed in my shift. The patient’s were typical: A 70 year old woman with a stroke, a woman in her 60’s with a shoulder dislocation, a man in his 50’s with a heart rate of 220. Fresh out of medical school 12 years ago each one of these patients would have been a terrifying encounter (for both me and them). Unsure of what to do I would have read through the textbooks, studied techniques, and prayed for divine intervention. I have continued my daily prayer for divine intervention, but on this shift a few weeks ago I had an epiphany. I wasn’t nervous, I didn’t need textbooks, I knew what to do.

In the madness of life I seemed to have lost myself for a while. Moments like this help bring me back. Call it what you will: a mid life crisis, simple fatherhood, or just life, but for some reason in the past two years I’ve felt lost. Four kids was busier than I expected, my job and schedule has gotten increasingly crazy, and my golf game has been somewhat stagnant. Maybe it’s helping coach my kids basketball teams which has helped me gain perspective, perhaps it’s the new job I just took, and likely it’s my new Callaway golf clubs, but somewhere in the process I’ve had a Paradym shift: I once was lost, but now I’m found.

A New Beginning

For the 70 year old woman with a stroke I offered a few calming words. Her new reality of life was overwhelming to her: incomprehensible speech, a crooked smile, and paralysis of the right side of her body. Fortunately she had made it to the ER in time. TPA, a clot busting medication, was given. 15 minutes later her slurred and imperceptible speech was clear. Her right arm and leg, once flaccid, now moved vigorously with the energy of new life. Her droopy face was now smiling and laughing again. A life seemingly lost to the devastation of a tragic illness was suddenly found again. I said a prayer, grateful for divine intervention and the miracle of modern medicine.

For the woman in her 60s her shoulder dislocation was causing disabling pain. I offered a sedation but she seemed content trying to avoid one. I sat in her room and patiently pulled and rotated her arm, various techniques I had learned from years of textbooks and training. Her spamming muscles stubbornly resisted reduction as I tried to overcome her own inertia. Suddenly I felt a clunk…an arm, once motionless from pain, suddenly had new life.

The 50 year old man was panicking; fearful of what he perceived as his inevitable demise. A heart rate of 60-80 is normal. At 220bpm he was 3-4x faster than that. “Don’t worry,” I told him. “It is nothing that a little electricity wouldn’t fix.” After a sedative to put him to sleep, then 120 joules, he woke up with a sense of relief. His heart, once beating through his chest, was pacing at a normal rate.

A New Job

Since finishing residency I’ve worked at a large regional hospital in Washington. I have always enjoyed my job. The supporting staff have been great colleagues and friends over the last 8 years. I rarely dread going into work, even on holidays. Being an ER doctor is now part of my DNA.

The toll of COVID-19 has hit hard however. Nursing staff has been on short supply, patient’s are at maximum supply, and reimbursement has seen new lows. Hospitals across the nation have been struggling to survive.

I read a news article last week stating that 96% of the country was looking for a new job. I wasn’t one of them…… For sure there were things about my job I would have liked to change, but I was very satisfied staying put.

Fresh out of residency I started graduate school again and got an MBA. I patiently waited, unsure if my new degree would be of any benefit. I heard rumors of an ER Medical Director job becoming available at a small hospital 30 minutes away. I threw my name in the ring and a few weeks ago found out I got the job!

My sister in law signed had me take a personality test before Thanksgiving. I have often wondered where my I lie on the spectrum of personalties. Out of the 16 personalities mine perhaps suits me for my upcoming role:

Father of 4

Being of father of 4 pales in comparison to being a mother of 4. Kelsey, and mothers in general, take the cake when it comes to raising kids. I used to be able to go to the golf course guilt free. Now it takes me a hole or two before I forget about the guilt.

Managing 4 seems to be a monumental task at times. The never ending schedule of piano lessons, basketball, football, baseball, dance, etc seems to swallow much of free time I used to enjoy. I used to “discuss” with Kelsey the need to cut out our kids activities. Truthfully though, I would rather have them at basketball practice than playing Xbox at home. Busy kids in some ways makes parents feel more accomplished.

I jumped on as assistant coach on both of my kids basketball teams this year. Along with it I developed a new appreciation for my kids sports and the many hours of time put in by other coaches to help my kids. Coaching has made me appreciate my kids more. I don’t know if I will help coach in future years but had a great time doing it this year.

Callaway’s: A New Paradym

Somewhere in my lost period of life I strayed. Despite great success with Callaway clubs I wanted a change, something to dig me out of my “call it what you will: a mid life crisis, simple fatherhood, or just life” phase. In my confusion I bought some clubs I never expected to buy: PXGs.

Sure the clubs were fine. Actually I hit them pretty well. My scores remained stagnant though. I just didn’t feel like the clubs suited me. After some soul searching I reached out to my friends at Callaway. The ultimate prodigal son begging for forgiveness. They showed mercy:

Less then two weeks into a new set of clubs and I feel reborn. A renewal, a new job, a new Paradym. I once was lost. Perhaps I’m found.

About Me

I’m a golfer with a side hustle as an ER doctor. I have a firm 2.0 handicap and this year will become a scratch golfer. I love my wife and my kids (and my new Paradym driver of course).